Tagged ‘The Rise of Cobra‘

Movie Review: G. I. Joe


G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

Directed By: Stephen Sommers

Starring: Channing Tatum, Rachel Nichols, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Eccleston, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park

Plot Synopsis:

Director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) adapts the beloved Hasbro G.I. Joe toy line with this Paramount Pictures production that pits the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity against the evil forces of the organization known as Cobra. [Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide]


No movie this summer has been made fun of pre-release like Stephen Sommers‘ take on G. I. Joe.  The marketing was horrible.  The scenes we saw early were unimpressive.  And the characters looked stupid, uninspired and goofy.  Meanwhile, the Transformers 2 marketing seemed to showcase a better take on cartoons and toys from the 80s, and we all know how Transformers 2 failed on all levels as a film (yet raked in tons of brainless cash).  So, is G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra better than this summers earlier disappointments? Yes!

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G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is . . . GOOD?


Either we’re living in Bizarro Summer, or Stephen Sommers’ G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra is kicking Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in the ass this summer.

Granted, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen made an ungodly amount of money, expecially for being the ball of shit that it was.  However, early reviews for Stephen Sommers’ G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra are surprisingly good.  So far after an handful reviews it is tracking 88% on Rottentomatoes.

I’ve been making fun of it until now.  I think I’m going to actually plan an opening weekend screening!

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Cobra Commander Finally Spotted in a G. I. Joe Trailer


First we saw him on a poster, now it’s confirmed in a Japanese Trailer, Cobra Commander looks like an idiot in Stephen Sommers‘ crap-buster G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.

Where’s the hood/facemask? You ask.  Well, Cobra Commander (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) starts the movie off as The Doctor.  He doesn’t become Cobra Commander until the very end of the film in the inevitable sequel set-up.

View the trailer after the jump.  What a crap Summer it’s turned out to be.  But, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra should be hands down better than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (which has settled at a measley 19% on RottenTomatoes Tomato-meter).

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45 Seconds of Pure Crap: G. I. Joe Movie Clip

Well, over the years Stephen Sommers ‘ grasp of CGI still hasn’t improved. Check out 45 seconds of crappiness from G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.  Really.  This looks bad.  The Master Chief Halo suites are ridiculous.

Character Poster for G. I. Joe Reveals Cobra Commander Bastardization


Here’s confirmation that Cobra Commander looks like a doofus in Stephen Sommers potential crap-fest G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.  Really, though, I don’t know why I keep complaining.  Stephen Sommers has directed total crap before.  Have you seen The Jungle Book, Deep Rising, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, and Van Helsing? ALL CRAP.

The new International Poster for G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra reveals most the main characters, including a look at Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander.  Yikes.

I do notice that the marketing is relying heavily on Sienna Miller‘s breasts (see trailer) and ass (see poster) to get pre-pubescent boys into the theaters.  We’ll see how it all pans out on August 7th.

See the full poster after the jump.

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Want Some Cheese With Your Popcorn? New International G. I. Joe Trailer is Off the Hook.

The International trailer for G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra has been released and it looks . . . well . . . Over The Top!

I think this looks like a lot of fun and am not expecting a great movie out of this.  Plus, should we really be expecting a lot out of the director of The Mummy?!