G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

Directed By: Stephen Sommers

Starring: Channing Tatum, Rachel Nichols, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Eccleston, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park

Plot Synopsis:

Director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) adapts the beloved Hasbro G.I. Joe toy line with this Paramount Pictures production that pits the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity against the evil forces of the organization known as Cobra. [Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide]

Review:

No movie this summer has been made fun of pre-release like Stephen Sommers‘ take on G. I. Joe.  The marketing was horrible.  The scenes we saw early were unimpressive.  And the characters looked stupid, uninspired and goofy.  Meanwhile, the Transformers 2 marketing seemed to showcase a better take on cartoons and toys from the 80s, and we all know how Transformers 2 failed on all levels as a film (yet raked in tons of brainless cash).  So, is G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra better than this summers earlier disappointments? Yes!

I know this isn’t really saying much, but G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is more fun and satisfying than X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (we can call the Summer of 2009, Summer 09: The Rise of Colons).  The pacing is what both prior movies should have had, the action more fun and the characters are likeable, although the story is just as dumb and effects a bit shoddy at times.

All the actors do what they can with the script they’ve been given, and you can tell they all just had a good time with it.  There’s not Oscar worthy performances here.  The stand outs were Sienna Miller as The Baroness, Ray Park kicks ass as Snake Eyes (although the lips on his mask were just stupid), and Joseph Gordon-Levitt chews the scenery and is gleefully over the top as The Doctor/Cobra Commander.  Everyone else is passable and Marlon Wayans isn’t as annoying as he usually is.

There’s really not much more to say about this.  G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra isn’t a great film or fine art by any means.  But, it’s a fun, harmless way to pass 2 hours, and so far the most fun of the Summer Blockbusters in 2009.  By the end I was interested in seeing where everything goes in a sequel.  It’s a PG-13 movie made for 10 year olds, and my 10 year old self loved the hell out of G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout.

Well, over the years Stephen Sommers ‘ grasp of CGI still hasn’t improved. Check out 45 seconds of crappiness from G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.  Really.  This looks bad.  The Master Chief Halo suites are ridiculous.

Here’s confirmation that Cobra Commander looks like a doofus in Stephen Sommers potential crap-fest G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.  Really, though, I don’t know why I keep complaining.  Stephen Sommers has directed total crap before.  Have you seen The Jungle Book, Deep Rising, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, and Van Helsing? ALL CRAP.

The new International Poster for G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra reveals most the main characters, including a look at Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander.  Yikes.

I do notice that the marketing is relying heavily on Sienna Miller‘s breasts (see trailer) and ass (see poster) to get pre-pubescent boys into the theaters.  We’ll see how it all pans out on August 7th.

See the full poster after the jump.

[Source:  FirstShowing via Slashfilm via Empire]

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