*This review was originally posted on BrutalAsHell.com, but was pulled and replaced with more of a well-thought out and better written review.  I stand by this review, however, as more thought was put into my review than was put into this pile of crap that is the film Four Boxes.

DVD Review: Four Boxes (2009)
Directed by: Wyatt McDill
Starring: Justin Kirk, Terryn Westbrook, Sam Rosen
Review by: Sean Duregger

Some movies are “so-bad-they’re-enjoyable-with-alcohol”.  Some movies are just plain bad and annoying.  Four Boxes isn’t enjoyable even with vast amounts of alcohol, believe me, I tried.  I’d compare this to a Horror version of The Room, but The Room is actually enjoyable on a certain level, hell it even had more gore.  Maybe this should have been called Four Rooms? Oh wait, a far superior movie already has that title. From absolutely horrible dialogue to atrocious pacing, Four Rooms is a total piece of shit and a waste of time.

Here’s an example of some of the dialogue:

“What are you listening to, music?” (when clearly music is playing.)
“Sex is totally awesome!”
“Computers make me horny.”
“True dat.”
“Bro Shizzy”

Basically, the plot goes like this.  2 guys spend a couple days in an abandoned house to clear out all the junk left by the previous owners.  Rob (Sam Rosen) shows Trevor (Justin Kirk) a weird website called Fourboxes.tv where a hooded weirdo moved about four rooms via webcam.  Meanwhile, Rob decides to invite his fiance, Amber (Terryn Westbrook) (who used to date Trevor, notch!) and mumbly, snarky arguments ensue, not to mention a (gasp!) poor excuse for a love triangle.

Horrible editing, inept dialogue using some of the worst examples of modern slang (“broseph” “check this” “what the f?” “whack”), Four Boxes is a complete waste of time, if you make it to the end and see the “twist” you’ll be even more frustrated.  I really hated this flick.

The DVD comes with some uninspired “special features” of deleted scenes and bloopers.  The transfer is decent for a smaller independent flick.  Four Boxes is rated R for language and some sexuality, notice it’s not rated R for any violence what-so-ever.

The Film  4 out of 5 stars || Video 5 out of 5 stars || Audio 5 out of 5 stars

Extras 4 out of 5 stars || Replay 3.5 out of 5 stars || Overall Rating: 4.3 out of 5 stars 

THE FILM

Ridley Scott’s deconstruction of the Robin Hood mythos and restructuring of the legend into a fully realized story was a gutsy move by the director.  Judging by word of mouth and critical reviews, the masses went in to Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood expecting something completely different.  The film’s marketing and highly deceptive trailers told us we were going to get the standard “gritty version” of the tale we’re all familiar with.  However, we were shown the exact opposite. 

Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood is a “prequel” of sorts.  This is the first part of a larger story.  Hence, Universal’s choice to name this film Robin Hood is extremely misleading to the standard movie goer.  This isn’t the story of “Robin of The Hood”.  This is the story of Robin Longstride, the man who would one day be known as Robin of The Hood.  This is a shame, because without pretenses, Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood is an epic medieval tale on the grandest scale very much worth your time.

2 versions are presented on this Blu Ray: the Theatrical Cut and the superior Unrated Director’s Cut.  The Director’s Cut solves most of the problems that plagued the Theatrical Cut.  Interactions between Robin and Marian are flushed out a bit more, plus the “Orphans of Nottingham” don’t seem tacked on, their story is actually fully realized here.

I still have a couple of issues with the film.  Russell Crowe seems to almost just sleep walk through most of the first half of the film.  Also, the film’s score by Marc Streitenfeld (whom I usually love) just seems generic and misplaced at times.  But, these criticisms are minor quibbles compared to how much of the film I actually loved.

Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood places third if I’m comparing to Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven.  The story does not have as much gravitas as the other films, and there’s an emotional weight that is never fully reached.  However, the visual mastery on display here is staggering.  It feels as if Ridley Scott took his film crew back to medieval England and actually filmed on location.  The story itself is sprawling and epic, setting us up for a sequel, while also being contained for the most part. 

As Robin Hood concluded, I didn’t want it to end.  It had successfully set me up for the story of “Robin of The Hood” that we are all familiar with.  That is both this film’s blessing and it’s curse.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed, though.

VIDEO

Ridley Scott is a master of visual storytelling.  From Blade Runner to Gladiator to Kingdom of Heaven, I absolutely adore how he fills each frame.  Here, in 1080p, each frame stunning to look at.  On par with the Kingdom of Heaven blu ray transfer.

AUDIO

The dialog is crisp and the battle scenes are thundering with the 5.1 DTS-HD mix.  My only gripe is the music seemed a bit too soft at times, but other than that, this is reference material.  You’ll be giving your sound system a good work out. 

EXTRAS

With an hour-long Making Of documentary,  “Rise and Rise Again”(62:41), it’s easy to see why Ridley Scott is one of our top directors.  His meticulous attention to detail is impressive and it’s impressive to see him re-create these time periods. 

Other features included are:

Director’s Notebook (A Pop-Up style feature you can turn on with the movie, but most of this is covered in the 60 min. documentary.)

13 minutes of Deleted Scenes

The Art of Nottingham (a detailed look at the pre-vis/storyboard effort all the way to costumes and art design of the film)

Also, the deceptive Theatrical Trailers and T.V. Spots are included.

REPLAY VALUE

How much you re-watch the film will depend on the potential sequel.  If a sequel does happen, this will be required viewing, I’m sure.  However, you may find yourself rewatching certain scenes here and there, but that’s about it.

I plan on revisiting this film a couple more times myself, with or without a sequel.

FINAL THOUGHTS

 Even if you hated Robin Hood in the theaters, I’d recommend you check out the Director’s Cut.  I guarantee some of the things you hated most (ex: the wild children) are explained better here.  I still do have some minor gripes about the film, but not enough to write it off.

Although mis-titled, Robin Hood is a carefully crafted film with some rousing battle scenes and a well thought out story.  It may not have been the film everyone wanted, but I can’t fault it for going against people’s preconceived expectations.  This is the film Ridley Scott wanted to make and it’s well acted, well shot and held my attention for 2 hours and 30 minutes. 

When it all was finished, it did leave me wanted to see more of the story.  If there is a sequel (and I really hope there is!), this is the perfect set up for a home run.

I Sell The Dead

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Written and Directed By: Glenn McQuaid

Starring: Dominic Monaghan, Ron Perlman, Larry Fessenden

Plot:

19th century justice has finally caught up to grave robbers Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) and Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden). With the specter of the guillotine looming over him, young Blake confides in visiting clergyman Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), recounting fifteen years of adventure in the resurrection trade. His tale leads from humble beginnings as a young boy stealing trinkets from corpses, to a partnership with seasoned ghoul Willie Grimes as they hunt creatures unwilling to accept their place in the ground. The colorful and peculiar history of Grimes and Blake is one filled with adventure, horror, and vicious rivalries that threaten to put all involved in the very graves they’re trying to pilfer.

Review:

The Horror/Comedy is a tough sell.  Most of the time, they end up stupid and unmemorable.  Occasionally a few gems appear such as Gremlins, Arachnophobia, and most recently Zombieland.  Arriving straight to DVD, though is another Comedic take on Horror with a Gothic twist, Glenn McQuaid‘s criminally underseen I Sell The Dead starring Dominic Monaghan.  With a clever balance of the comedic and macabre, strong acting, believable sets and costumes, and brilliant cinematography, I Sell The Dead is a gem worthy to be discovered.

Glenn McQuaid‘s only other directorial credit is a short film called The Resurrection Apprentice which birthed the characters for I Sell The Dead.  I haven’t seen it, but hear it’s worth checking out.  So, this makes I Sell The Dead his feature length film debut.  His only other credits of note are Visual Effects Supervisor for the Independant “Eco-Horror” flick The Last Winter (also starring Ron Perlman).  I say all this because, I Sell The Dead is a very strong debut effort that puts Glenn McQuaid on the map as a talent to watch.

The plot of I Sell The Dead is fairly straight forward.  Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) is facing the guillotine and recounts his misadventures to Father Duffy (Ron Perlman).  It’s a fun, somewhat lighthearted yet macabre and dark story that has it’s twists and turns and stays very engaging all the way through.

Can someone tell me why Dominic Monaghan isn’t cast in more films? He was one of my favorite characters in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and he’s one of my favorite characters on Lost (I’ve only seen the first season, don’t judge me).  He is absolutely wonderful in I Sell The Dead and really anchors the movie.  Here he plays Arthur Blake, a young grave robber who was brought into the trade by a surly Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden reprising his role from The Resurrection Apprentice).  Monaghan does a wonderful job of fully rounding out his character making a character who steals bodies for money likeable.   In a supporting role, Ron Perlman is really fun here sporting an Irish accent.  He plays the chipper Irish Clergyman Father Duffy and is obviously having fun here.  His interactions with Dominic Monaghan are pitch perfect and help move this story along.

Finally, a lot can be said on how this low budget film got a bang for their buck.  I Sell The Dead looks great and while some extreme grain during some dark scenes give away the low budget nature, the sets, costumes and make up effect help to elevate this film above most independent horror films.  You totally believe that this is 19th century England and all the characters look like they belong.

Final Thoughts

If you love Horror movies, I Sell The Dead won’t scare you.  However, it’s gothic tone and story about grave robbers, zombies and vampires will more than make up for any scares.  With supurb effects, moody cinematography, wonderful acting and characters, I Sell The Dead is an independant film worth paying attention to.

I Sell The Dead Official Website

The Brothers Bloom

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Directed By: Rian Johnson

Starring: Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz, Rinko Kikuchi

Plot:

All their lives, brothers Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom (Adrien Brody) have perfected the fine art of the con.  Now they’re ready for one last spectacular score – luring Penelope (Rachel Weisz), an eccentric heiress, into an elaborate scheme that takes them around the world.

Review:

While “cookie cutter” stories are littering Hollywood and the current box office, many original and memorable movies are being tossed into minimal theatrical releases and horribly thought out DVD/Blu Ray releases.  Case in point: if you want to own the wonderfully original and quirky film The Brothers Bloom, you’ll have to either steal it from a local video rental establishment (not recommended!), or buy it from our Canadian neighbors (I chose the latter).  Or, just wait until January for the U. S. release and rent it numerous times until then.  Either way, The Brothers Bloom is a film that needs to be seen.

Writer/Director, Rian Johnson is on my short list of best up-and-coming directors.  His debut film, Brick was also an under-seen yet brilliant piece of work.  Rian Johnson has a knack for writing characters and stories that stay with you long after the film is over.  Following up Brick with The Brothers Bloom, Rian Johnson has shown us he likes to challenge himself and improve his craft with each film.

The Brothers Bloom is a story about the relationship between brothers.  It comes across to me personally as the most intimate look I’ve seen in film, at the complex relationship brothers can have.  Although, Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo look nothing at all like brothers, what sells it is their interactions throughout the film.  At first I was a bit worried that I’d believe these two to be brothers.  However, early on all that subsided as their characters began to be fleshed out on screen.

Complementing the brothers are Rachel Weisz as an eccentric shut in named Penelope and Rinko Kikuchi in a brilliant role with virtually no dialog as Bang Bang.  Both women are the charm of the movie and were cast perfectly.  I can now say that my favorite Rachel Weisz role ever is Penelope.  She portrays someone who is eccentric, but at the same time very innocent.  She is the backbone for the film and anchors the plot more than even the Brothers.

The Brothers Bloom is nearly a perfect film.  It’s easily one of my favorites of the year.  My only problem with the film were some tonal shifts from absurdist comedy to some dramatic set pieces.  While both tones of the film work on their own right, once the film shifts to more of a drama I think some of the weight isn’t there because of earlier comedic pitches.  However, upon a second viewing the third act shift is less noticeable.

With only two films under his belt, Rian Johnson has earned his place as a writer and director to watch.  He’s wholly original and his films bear a quality not seen in mainstream movies today.  There’s an honesty to both Brick and The Brothers Bloom that I hope will inspire future filmmakers and will hopefully put Rian Johnson on the map as one of this centuries premiere filmmakers.

Rated PG-13 for violence, some sensuality and brief strong language.

Preorder from Amazon (US), buy from Amazon Canada, or rent from Netflix.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Directed By: Jonathan Levine

Starring: Amber Heard, Whitney Able, Michael Welch, Anson Mount, Aaron Himelstein

Plot:

Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is an unattainable object of adolescent lust for all the boys in her highs school.  Invited on a weeked away to a remote ranch, shy Mandy sees it as a chance to cement some newly formed friendships.  The boys see it as a chance to finally get with Mandy.  As night falls, joints are rolled, kegs are drunk and pills are popped, with Mandy maintaining a polite distance from all the debauchery.  She things the drunken “come-ons” will be the worst of it, but she is horrifyingly mistaken.  As events take a turn for the worse, it becomes clear that a secret admirer is harbouring some terrifying ulterior motives.

Review:

Originally released in 2006 at the Toronto Film Festival, winner of the Audience Award at Sundance Film Festival in 2008 and managed horribly by The Weinstein Company and sold to Senator Entertainment, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is STILL unavailable to American Audiences.  It’s a shame, because this small and clever slasher flick starring Amber Heard deserves to be seen.  Luckily, Optimum Releasing has the distribution rights in the UK and have offered us a Region Free Blu-Ray release of the film.  All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a clever, small budget slasher with some great performances in it.

Jonathan Levine (The Wackness) knows what he’s giving us here.  All the Boys Love Mandy Lane isn’t striving to be more than a fresh take on the Teen Slasher flick.  I’ve heard it describes (generically on the box) as “The OC meets Friday the 13th.” I’d have to say that All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a modern teen slasher that doesn’t try to wink at the audience or try to be over the top, nor is it going out of it’s way to offer up cheap scares.  The characters are believable and everything is played straight and realistic.  These aren’t “Hollywood” teenagers, all the characters seem 100% rooted in reality and this really helps suck in the viewer.

Amber Heard is the star of the film and takes up about 80% of the screen time.  I think this was her largest role at the time it was filmed.  She is most known for her roles in Pineapple Express and The Informers, but none of those movies feature her on screen as much as All the Boys Love Mandy Lane.  Amber Heard brings a quiet shyness to Mandy Lane.  She is beautiful, yet hates being the center of attention and seems extremely self conscious.  The underlying commentary of her character is what makes her so interesting.  All the boys are trying to “get with her” yet she’s unaware of what her beauty is bringing out of the guys, and also unaware of the harm they will put themselves in just to be with her.  All the other characters are serviceable to the story.  Each a kind of stereotype, from the jock to the snarky stoner, but still believable.

The cinematography in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane has kind of a washed out look.  In HD, it looks pretty good but the colors don’t pop.  I believe this was a stylistic choice, and for a horror flick, it works.  I really like some of the camera techniques and angles used in some of the scenes.  You get a sense there was some artsy experimentation on Jonathan Levine‘s part and it never gets pretentious.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a fresh and original slasher flick.  It knows what it is, doesn’t talk down to the audience and is a thrilling and fun ride.  Amber Heard shows that she can carry a film, it’s a shame no one in the U. S. can see this easily.  If you can get your hands on this, you’ll enjoy the ride.  It’s nice to see that original horror can still captivate us in the age of pointless remakes and sequels.

Buy the REGION FREE UK from Amazon.com or Amazon UK.

Rated: (for strong disturbing violence, pervasive drug and alcohol use, sexuality/nudity and language).

Where the Wild Things Are

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Directed By: Spike Jonze

Starring: Max Records, Forest Whitaker, Catherine O’Hara, James Gandolfini, Chris Cooper, Catherine Keener

Plot:

An adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story, where Max, a disobedient little boy sent to bed without his supper, creates his own world–a forest inhabited by ferocious wild creatures that crown Max as their ruler. [IMDB]

Pre-Review Editorial:

I read an actual review of Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are that stated the following:

Authentic though it may be, this movie will appeal to douchey hipsters. If you are upper-middle-class, liked I Heart Huckabees, have Buddy Holly glasses, listen to rap ironically, and/or believe yourself to be an undiscovered genius or otherwise tortured and unique person, this is right in your wheelhouse for Movie of the Year. [Film School Rejects]

Now, let me put on my horn rimmed glasses and get on with my douchy hipster review of Where the Wild Things Are.

Review:

Spike Jonze‘s Where the Wild Things Are isn’t for everyone.  If you go in expecting a brainless, whimsical and safe children’s movie, you’ll be disappointed.  (But don’t worry, Disney will fill this void with The Rock as a Tooth Fairy very soon).  Where the Wild Things Are is a film that is very much for adults, not based on questionable content, but based on the themes and layers this film offers.  Spike Jonze has given us a brilliant film that captures the beauty, messiness, danger and lonliness of a young boy’s imagination.

I don’t really know where to start with this film.  Where the Wild Things Are is a film that needs to be discovered for yourself, so I won’t get into the detail of the plot.  The plot itself is very simple.  Max gets in a fight with his mother, runs away to a fantastical island full of monsters and comes home.  The music, imagery and subtext are what sets Where the Wild Things Are above almost everything I’ve seen this year.

First of all, the images on screen are simply stunning.  The “real world” scenes are shot handheld, with a sense of urgency and energy that sucks us right into the story.  Once we get to the monster’s island, we see breathtaking landscapes of the ocean and beaches, forest and even desert.  The landscapes totally enveloped me and were extremely beautiful.  All the imagery is highlighted by Carter Burwell’s wonderful score and songs by Karen O And The Kids.  (Both the soundtrack and score are highly recommended.)

The monsters were real.  They were organic to each scene, I believed they were there.  Spike Jonze decided to employ the Jim Henson Company to create large puppets with CGI sparingly and convincingly used for the faces.  The amount of emotion conveyed was wonderful.  I found myself empathizing with each character and 100% invested in them.  Also, the voice work by James Gandolfini as Carol was spot on, both menacing and tender.  The rest of the voice work was also remarkable, most notably Forest Whitaker, Catherine O’Hara and Chris Cooper.

The glue holding the story together is our main character, Max, played by a brilliant Max Records.  This kid is simply amazing and totally convincing as a troubled young boy dealing with loneliness and anger as his sister is growing up, his mom (perfectly portrayed by Catherine Keener) struggles with her job and finding time for her boyfriend.  Max, a creative and imaginative boy, is feeling alone and neglected.  He tries to leave all this behind in creating a perfect world with monsters who will make him their king.  You totally believe Max Records.  He’s genuine and full of life.  I haven’t seen such an honest performance ever from someone Max’s age.

The brilliance of Where the Wild Things Are isn’t just on screen.  The conversations I’ve had since seeing this film have been honest, emotional and deeply revealing.  Spike Jonze has somehow tapped into the core of all of us and has made a highly introspective movie about life itself.  Life is messy and imperfect.  We can complain and squabble about meaningless things, but what life boils down to is those around us and the unconditional love of family.  There are many more layers to this film and I’m sure many essays can be written about all the meanings and subtlties of the film.

Whether or not you enjoy Where the Wild Things Are is up to you.  This is a film that relies on what you take into the movie.  Drop whatever expectations you have at the door, and open yourself up to a wonderful journey of childhood, all the joys and pain it brings.  The honesty of this “children’s” movie is to be admired.  Not all kids will get it, and I’d suggest that if your kid is under 7 or 8, they could get bored.  I personally was deeply affected by Spike Jonze‘s take on Where the Wild Things Are.  It is a film that sparks conversation and reflection.  Not many movies do that today, and I thank Spike Jonze for a moving and wonderful film.

Author’s Note: I am not upper-middle-class, I can’t stand “I Heart Huckabees”, I wear glasses but not Buddy Holly glasses, I actually enjoy listening to Ice Cube non-ironically, I do not believe myself to be a genius, don’t think I’m any more unique than you, and I grew up in a lovingly stable yet imperfect family environment.  Surprisingly, Where the Wild Things Are is in my wheelhouse for Movie of the Year.

Observe and Report

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Directed By: Jody Hill

Starring: Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Michael Peña, Michael Peña, Anna Faris, Dan Bakkedahl, John Yuan, Matt Yuan, Celia Weston, Collette Wolfe

Plot Synopsis:

At the Forest Ridge Mall, head of security Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen) patrols his jurisdiction with an iron fist. The master of his domain, he combats skateboarders, shoplifters and the occasional unruly customer while dreaming of the day when he can swap his flashlight for a badge and a gun.Ronnie’s delusions of grandeur are put to the test when the mall is struck by a flasher. Driven by his personal duty to protect and serve the mall and its patrons, Ronnie seizes the opportunity to showcase his underappreciated law enforcement talents on a grand scale, hoping his solution of this crime will earn him a coveted spot at the police academy and the heart of his elusive dream girl Brandi (ANNA FARIS), the hot make-up counter clerk who won’t give him the time of day. But his single-minded pursuit of glory launches a turf war with the equally competitive Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta) of the Conway Police, and Ronnie is confronted with the challenge of not only catching the flasher, but getting him before the real cops. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Review:

Seth Rogen may be played out in some people’s minds, however I love the guy and think he has plenty of steam left.  Jody Hill’s Observe and Report gives Rogen a platform to give us something different.  A hero that’s not perfect, kind of creepy and someone who makes morally compromising choices.  The description of Observe and Report as “Taxi Driver meets Paul Blart: Mall Cop” may seem a bit strange, but that’s probably the only way you could describe this strange, dark, offensive and, yes, hilarious film.

Observe and Report is a hard movie to review.  It isn’t for everyone and if you get offended easily, go enjoy a predictable and safe Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  In Observe and Report, Seth Rogen plays a bi-polar Head of Mall Security at Forest Ridge Mall, Ronnie Barnhardt.  He’s delusional, rude and selfish, yet he cares about being the best at what he does.  I’m not going to sugar coat it, Seth Rogen goes to some dark places in this movie.  It’s all in character and totally in context with the film.  There was some controversy with an alleged “Date Rape” scene, but in context it works and all controversy was sparked from people who hadn’t seen or understood this film.  If this was Paul Blart, yes the scene would be unwarranted and wrong.  However, with the two characters involved and in context of the movie it works and yes, it’s supposed to be slightly disturbing.  I won’t explain any further.  See the film for yourself and we’ll discuss.

The supporting cast is a handful of memorable and quirky characters.  It’s fun to see Ray Liotta playing it straight as the detective (although his plastic surgery has made him a bit scary.) The most memorable supporting performance, though, goes to Michael Peña who is usually brilliant in dramatic roles.  Here, he is Ronnie’s unassuming right hand man.  It’s fun seeing Michael Peña stretch his legs with the comedic.  Also, Anna Faris is darkly hilarious as the cosmetic counter girl and Ronnie’s “love interest,” Brandy.  She is cute and vile at the same time, totally someone you love to hate.

Finally, I need to give major props to Collette Wolfe.  I’ve never seen her in anything before, and in a movie full of mean spirited characters she is the heart and soul of the film, Nell.  She is not in the film that much, but whenever her character is on the screen, she is extremely likeable and sweet.  In fact, she kind of plays the emotional anchor of the film and I don’t think I would have liked the film if she was any other character.

In closing, Observe and Report is the bravest and most hilarious comedy of the summer.  While it’s not for broad audiences, it’s a movie that will have a very long shelf life, and one I’ll be revisiting frequently.

Rated R for pervasive language, graphic nudity, drug use, sexual content and violence.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Slugs

Actual Movie:

Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

So-Bad-It’s-Good-Rating:

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Directed By: Juan Piquer Simón

Starring: Michael Garfield

Plot Synopsis:

A rural town becomes prey to a strain of Black Slugs spawned from toxic waste dumping and it’s up to the local health inspector to stop them.

Review:

I really don’t know where to start with my review of Slugs.  OK.  It’s a bad movie.  A horrible movie.  A “shit-tastic” movie.  The acting is horrible and the plot is ridiculous (they’re SLUGS! Mutant Slugs, but still they’re slow and they can be squished).  However, the precedings are so laughable and ridiculous, and the acting so bad, it’s endearing.  All this is highlighted by some of the grossest, sickest, nonsensical gore you’ll ever see in a movie.

Slugs was directed by Spanish director Juan Piquer Simón (credited as J. P. Simon on the DVD box) and I believe this is his only English film.  His direction is what you’d expect for a C-grade take on 50′s “Mutant Creature” flicks.  But, what I do want to praise him for is the crazy gore and some pretty awesome explosions.

Some of my favorite moments are as follows:

• These slugs enjoy eating people’s faces off.
• These slugs can drag away a human body.
• Never have sex in a room full of slugs.  It ends very badly.
• These slugs have TEETH!
• Quotes like : “How about when I get back, we get naked and crazy?” and “You ain’t got the authority to declare Happy Birthday! Not in this town!” never get old.
• When you eat a piece of a Mutant Slug, worms explode out of your face. Makes sense to me.
• Fertilizer and 1 can of gasoline will decimate a house and make Michael Bay jealous.

There’s not much more I can say about this flick.  Grab some friends and some booze and have a good time with Slugs.  If you’re in the right mood, and have like-minded friends, this will be a great time.

Slugs is some of the most enjoyable piles of crap I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing.  For a “live tweet” of my viewing of Slugs, head over to Twitter (#slugs).

The Children

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Directed By: Tom Shankland

Starring: Eva Birthistle, Stephen Campbell Moore, Jeremy Sheffield, Rachel Shelley, Hannah Tointon

Plot Synopsis:

You brought them into the world. They will take you out. A family anticipates a Christmas filled with sledding, laughter and hot cocoa as they head to their vacation home in the secluded backcountry…The holiday cheer takes a fast turn for the worse after a mysterious flu-like virus sweeps through the kids. One by one the children become deadly. Amidst the suspicion, mayhem and murder, the parents fight for survival against their own twisted offspring. (Ghosthouse Underground)

 Review:

When I first heard of the british horror flick, The Children, I wasn’t too fond of seeing it.  As a parent, the thought of killer kids wasn’t something I wanted to subject myself to.  However, I eventually decided to “nut up” and take a peek at this film, and I’m so glad I did.  Tom Shankland lands himself on the horror map with the near-perfect and truly scary “killer kid” flick, The Children.

At first, the premise of killer children lends itself to a giggle.  I mean, who’s scared of a kid, right? Some movies have done this angle right (Pet Sematary, The Omen, Children of the Corn) and it turns out the “killer kid” premise is pretty horrifying.  But, none of the previously mentioned film are truly scary or nightmare inducing.  The Children is. 

Here’s the basic plot, a flu-like virus turns innocent kids into evil killers bent on ending their parents lives.  This is a basic plot, nothing too fancy.  It’s been done many times over.  What The Children does well is ratchet up tension, the first 30 minutes is perfectly paced character and story set up.  After the set up, the rest of the film is tense, frightening and asks the question, “Can you kill your own child in self defense?” Because of this moral dilemma, I found myself huddled on the couch, eyes wide and totally tense.

The acting is great.  All the parents are totally believable.  I wasn’t familiar with any of the actors, so that helped bring me into the story.  Also, the child actors are phenominal.  I really hope this film doesn’t scar them for life! They are adorable and then extremely scary and disturbing.  There’s just something really creepy about a cute kids staring blankly at you.  I just got shivers.

The Children is very close to being a perfect horror film.  I actually only had one instance where I was slightly taken out of the movie.  Maybe it was explained but I missed it.  There is a scene where Eva Birthistle‘s character is trying to her uninfected teenage daughter (Hannah Tointon).  She tries breaking through a locked door with a fire pick, when she could easily just unlock the door.  Maybe there’s a missing scene explaining this.  Very minor gripe, but enough for a momentary distraction.

In any one elses’ hands, The Children could have been a mess.  However,  Tom Shankland‘s tight direction makes this one of the scariest films of the decade and one that will resonate for years. 

Rated R for disturbing bloody violent content, terror, language and brief drug use.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Trick ‘r Treat

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Directed By: Michael Dougherty

Starring: Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, Dylan Baker, Leslie Bibb, Rochelle Aytes, Tahmoh Penikett

Plot Synopsis:

It is said that Halloween is the night when the dead rise to walk among us and other unspeakable things roam free. The rituals of All Hallows Eve were devised to protect us from their evil mischief, and one small town is about to be taught a terrifying lesson that some traditions are best not forgotten.

Nothing is what it seems when a suburban couple learns the dangers of blowing out a Jack-o-Lantern before midnight; four women cross paths with a costumed stalker at a local festival; a group of pranksters goes too far and discovers the horrifying truth buried in a local legend; and a cantankerous old hermit is visited by a strange trick-or-treater with a few bones to pick. Costumes and candy, ghouls and goblins, monsters and mayhem… the tricks and treats of Halloween turn deadly as strange creatures of every variety-human and otherwise-try to survive the scariest night of the year. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Review:

Huzzah! Halloween is closing in and after 3 years of waiting, Trick ‘r Treat has finally been released.  Although, it would have been nice if it had a theatrical release, I’m happy to have it in my Blu Ray player.  This is the definitive Halloween movie, destined to become traditional viewing in my house.

4 stories, 1 small Ohio town and all take place on Halloween night.  Like Creepshow, Trick ‘r Treat doesn’t have a main plot.  It is 4 distinct stories, but unlike Creepshow, these stories are seamlessly woven together.  Characters from other stories bump into each other, walk past the screen, we get glimpses of the other stories as they’re happening.  Trick ‘r Treat is the funnest and creepiest Halloween film to come out on a long long time.

Michael Dougherty has written and directed Trick ‘r Treat to perfection.  Until know, he’s been known as the individual who penned X2 and Superman Returns with Brian Singer.  I’m so glad he’s stepped out from behind a laptop to behind the camera, because Trick ‘r Treat shows some amazing promise.

From the stunning cinematography, to the use of practical effects, Trick ‘r Treat seems like a timeless movie already.  If CGI was used, it was sparingly and totally seamless.  To give more detail would mean to spoil the movie, go into this one fresh!

As far as acting goes, all the actors are really fun here.  But, of course the stand-outs are an unrecognizable Brian Cox, the brilliant Dylan Baker and the seemingly innocent (pre-True Blood) Anna Paquin.  Plus, it was nice seeing Battlestar Galactica’s Tahmoh Penikett in a small, but memorable role.

Finally, I’d like to talk about Sam.  He’s the burlap sack masked creepy kid that is seen between each story.  Trick ‘r Treat‘s Sam is a new horror icon.  We’re going to be seeing tattoos, costumes, posters and figurines of this little guy.  He’s awesome.

Do yourself a favor and BUY (ahem…the Blu Ray), don’t rent Trick ‘r Treat.  This deserves to be in your collection, and trust me, you’ll be re-visiting Trick ‘r Treat on a yearly (if not more) basis.  Michael Dougherty has crafted a Halloween classic.

Rated R for horror violence, some sexuality/nudity and language.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]